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One year ago my life changed forever. The change actually started on Easter Sunday, 2025, leading to the death of my husband in September, 2025. A year ago my life's road stopped. A "dead end" sign popped up and I was left without a compass to find my way while forced into a club no one wants to join. From holidays to birthdays to a million other "firsts" my little family survived them all. And while I certainly have a long way to go in finding my path on this nightmarish jou

The loss of my person was the biggest life event to happen to me. To ever happen to me. Whatever happens going forward will not be able to match the gigantic hole torn in my heart by the loss of my person. But my person isn't the only thing lost. Once the funeral is over everyone starts to go back to their lives. As they should. The calls and texts slow down. I know I am not alone when I say that it became easier to respond to the never ending "How are you?", (complete with a

Here is a truth that widows keep to themselves. You can tell us that we are not alone all you want, but truth? We are. We are 100% alone in our grief. And once we come to terms with that it can be OK. Others who are also grieving our person are in our grief hemisphere, of course. They understand bits and pieces of what our journey has been, for sure, but they are alone in their own personal grief as well. So we are alone. What does that mean, exactly? It means that no one, no

I miss my person. I miss my husband every minute of every day. And I will continue to do so. After ten weeks of a grief support group and ongoing grief care I now understand that my grief will not shrink. It will stay the size it was the day my husband left this earth. A large mass in the pit of my stomach. A cold hand with my heart in a grip so tight sometimes I can't catch my breath. A gray mist invading my brain, creating a fog of monumental proportions that threatens to p

Let's talk about one of the biggest losses we face after our person leaves us - our security. The big loss is our person, of course. But the sense of security that is lost is huge, and can be near constant if we aren't careful. As a self assured woman I was surprised by the feelings of fear that hit. I've traveled the world alone. I've traveled the world alone with a baby. I lived alone before I met my husband. I've taken my boys when they were younger on spring break trips w

I recently saw a quote that said "Grief is learning to live with the love and without the loved one." Can I just tell you how tired I am of learning? Grieving is like taking the absolute worst college class - one that comes with no syllabus, is full of pop quizzes on random topics like "Decision Making in a Fog" and "Your grill is on Fire, Now What?" and the grades are weighted so you will fail every time. Enough learning! But the quote is true. The love doesn't go anywhere.

I was walking out of a local hospital the other day after visiting a church member and an older couple walking in caught my eye. They were holding hands, walking slowly into the building. No rushing, no talking, just being together. But they were holding hands- the universal sign for love. Later that day I mentioned this to a friend. I tried to put into words what I felt at that moment, watching that older couple navigate the curb, the entry way, all while never letting go of

Approximately 40% of American widows have at least one child under the age of 18 in their home. This means that they are grieving and caregiving at the same time. For these women support is crucial. Having a scaffolding of friends and family who are willing to walk with us through the ups and downs of grief is vital. Our villages come to mean so much to us as widows struggling to hold down the fort, stay sane and walk alone without our person. Last night I hosted the first la

A lot has been going on around here lately. Maybe you already know? Maybe you are looking down on us and keeping track of how we are doing without you? Or maybe, wherever you are, you are doing other things. Or doing nothing at all. I want to believe that you are keeping an eye on us, but, truth be told, who really knows? Anyway, if you already know what we are up to then too bad, you're hearing it again. Because you know me. You know that you are the only person in the world

Losing a life partner brings a profound shift in daily life. The first six months after becoming a widow or widower often feel overwhelming, not only emotionally but also practically. One of the hardest parts for me these past four months has been decision making. Whether small or significant, decisions can feel like heavy burdens when grief clouds clarity and energy. Understanding why decision-making becomes so difficult and finding ways to manage it can help ease this chal

Losing a spouse unexpectedly brings a wave of grief that few can prepare for. Early widowhood carries unique challenges that often go unspoken, leaving many of us feeling isolated and misunderstood. These challenges, which I call the Widowhood Injustices, extend beyond the emotional pain to practical, social, and financial struggles that can overwhelm someone already coping with loss. This post explores these injustices. Whether you are newly widowed or supporting someone who